Weddings are a joyful celebration of two people joining together, a time for happiness and laughter. So why is it so stressful? Too often the details overwhelm the joy. Every bride has a vision of the perfect wedding. Gorgeous invitations, beautiful ceremony, stunning wedding gown, wonderful photographs, the tables in the reception hall looking just so, the colors perfectly matching, the dinner scrumptious, the service crisp and professional, the cake moist and beautiful, the party of a lifetime. How to make your vision reality without driving yourself to distraction, that’s the question.

First of all, the happy couple should decide what their vision is, what memories they would like their guests to have of the special day. Is the vision one of stunning elegance or a relaxed informal celebration? Ideally whatever the vision, it should reflect who the bride and groom are, the things in their lives that are special to them. Of course what the future Mr. and Mrs. see as perfect is not always what the Moms and Dads envision. But ultimately it is their day, so the couple should sit down together and talk about what they want.

Sometimes it is helpful to make separate lists of the things that are important to them and then compare and compromise, find a happy medium between a wedding cake in the shape of an OSU football helmet and a four tier extravaganza in fondant with pink roses. The two lists usually agree on most things. By starting out with a common idea of what the day will be,  it will be easier to decide on the details. Lastly, keep it simple. The more extravagant the details, the more chance there is of something not quite happening.

Since everything revolves around a budget, discuss what things are most important to have on your wedding day. Should there be lavish floral arrangements, or should there be up lighting around the room? Chair covers or silver candelabra centerpiece. Four course plated meal or heavy hors d’ oeuvres buffet? Decide on the size of your wedding and reception; be aware that most of your costs will be on a per person basis, so while a guest list of three hundred would be great, multiplying everything by that number could be unworkable. Prioritize what is most important.  

Start with formal or casual and the colors of the wedding; this will help decide the gown and his suit. It will also narrow down the choice of bridesmaid’s dresses, which in turn will define the colors of the reception linen and centerpieces.

Following that should be the invitations. Again, the shared vision will help decide the type of paper, font, inclusions and envelopes. Heavy bond paper in an elegant cream with French calligraphy, or bright, colors in a casual script? These decisions will help when consulting with the vendor.

It will be important to find the right venue fairly early, most reception facilities book up a year out on the most popular days, July and August, here in the Northwest. The same applies to the caterer; it is not uncommon to book a caterer twelve months or more before the date.

Both of these details go together and are interdependent. Some venues have exclusive caterers or preferred lists. It is important to check out three or four venues and catering companies to find the one that most closely matches your vision of the perfect venue and the menu that people will rave about for months.